Cancer Wins the ZodiOlympics

Feb. 25. The crab could not be stopped. After a weak showing on Friday, the Cancer team rebounded with two impressive days on the medal stand and won the ZodiOlympics going away.

Cancer pulled in 10 medals each of the last two days of the winter games, ending the tournament with 74 total medals, nine more than second-place Aquarius. On a metal-weighted basis, the crab scored 150 points, 19 more than Taurus.

Cancer had the best men’s team, pulling in 39 medals, two more than Pisces. The fish men actually tied the crab boys on a medal-weighted basis. Cancer was among the top women’s teams, and it won the most medals in hockey. In addition, Cancer captured the most glory while wearing ice skates or skis on their feet, the two biggest event categories.

Sagittarius had the top women’s team, with 39 total medals, though they were one point behind in the medal-weighted scoring.

Virgo didn’t accomplish much, finishing 10th in medal count, but it placed in the middle of the pack on a weighted basis and it was also the most successful team in snowboard events. Aquarius were the top sledders with 11 medals in luge and bobsleigh.

Sagittarius won the most medals in curling, the only event in which competitors wore shoes.

Finally, Libra could not seal the deal. After fighting to a tie for 11th place coming down the home stretch, the scales captured just one medal on the final day of the ZodiOlympics, while Capricorn pranced ahead with eight medals.



Has Cancer Nailed Down the Gold?

Feb. 24. Cancer had another monster day at the PyeongChang games, picking up 10 medals and moving closer to winning the inaugural ZodiOlympics competition. Hats off to the crab.

Cancer won 10 medals today, tops in the field, including seven bronze – three on the alpine ski event, two in men’s hockey and solo in curling – along with a gold in mass-start speed skating and silvers in curling and snowboard big air. All that winning increased Cancer’s lead in medal count from just two on Friday to a perhaps unstoppable five-point lead with just one day left in the games.

The crab holds a hefty 16-point lead in weighted medals.

Gemini is hanging around in second, and it actually had a decent day on Saturday, with seven total medals. Both Cancer and Gemini have very strong women’s teams, but the twins-men are nothing special, while the crab-boys are best of class with 30 medals. Pisces are still in the hunt for the top men’s team, thanks to gold medals from Lee Seung-Hoon and Matt Hamilton. Sagittarius and Aries have decent shots at the top women’s team.

Aries had good day on Saturday, picking up nine medals and moving from fifth place overall to fourth. And Libra did itself some good by climbing into a tie with Capricorn for 11th place despite having an anemic woman’s team.

There are still a lot of medals at stake on Sunday, the final day of the PyeongChang games, including the top two men’s hockey teams. Cancer has turned up some big days so far, but it’s also been subpar on others.

“I have absolute confidence in the crab,” said July 4 birthday celebrant Roger Myerberg. “Above all else, we will crush the life out of those pathetic fish in our mighty pincers.”

Cancer Solidifies Its Lead, Signs of Life from Libra

Feb. 23. Cancer had a so-so day at the PyeongChang winter games, but it was good enough to bolster its top ranking in the ZodiOlympics standings.

The crab captured just two medals – a silver in biathlon and a bronze in curling – in a very slow day for inspirational renditions of national anthems. Only 16 medals were draped upon athletes on Friday, a sharp downturn from the 102 awarded on Thursday and 71 on Wednesday – the two richest days so far in displays of nationalism and athletic achievement.

Cancer’s modest winnings separated it from a tie with Gemini in the medal-count standings. The twins won zilch today, and Sagittarius – with a single bronze medal – edged closer to second place.

Jesper Nelin

The big winner was Libra, which has been in last place for most of the ZodiOlympics. The scales copped six medals, tops for the day, including a gold in a biathlon relay – way to go Jesper Nelin! – two silver and two bronze. Libra moved within one medal of escaping the lowest rung of hell and catching 11th place Capricorn, which earned just one medal.

It’s the women who are holding Libra back, with just 10 medals so far. On their own, the manly scales have 20 giant coins slung around their necks, which would put them in the middle of the pack.

Quietly, Taurus had a good day as well. The bull is still in fourth place, but crept closer to third-ranked Sagittarius by picking up four medals. A stealthy move in the shadows.


Cancer Catches Gemini, Taurus Rising

Feb. 22. Cancer was the big winner in the PyeongChang winter games today, according to the updated ZodiOlympics standings.

The crab hauled in 12 medals in the busiest day of the tournament. With two women’s hockey teams and numerous relay races decided, a total of 102 medals were awarded on Thursday, topping the 72 given out the day before. Cancer won one more medal than Gemini, moving it into the tie.

Cancer’s 29 points – tops for the day – allowed it extend its lead based on a weighted basis. Gemini, still tied for the lead on number of medals, was eight points behind on a weighted basis.

Taurus won 13 medals on Thursday, the biggest one-day haul so far in the tournament. That helped move the bull up from seventh place to a tie for fourth. Gemini and Capricorn scooped up 11 medals each, while Sagittarius and Leo brought home 10 each.

The lions are the top rated men, with 23 goals and 50 weighted points. Sagittarius are by far the fastest team with 35 medals in events decided by speed. Cancer has a narrow lead over Taurus and Scorpio in points-based competition (think figure skating and snowboard), while Gemini is ahead in events measured by goals. Also known as hockey.

Gemini Into Lead, Sagittarius and Cancer Make Moves

Feb. 21. Gemini, Cancer and Sagittarius continued to dominate the ZodiOlympics ranking of top astrological teams at the PyeongChang winter games during a busy day of team medals.

A whopping 72 medals were awarded on Wednesday, including 23 distributed to the bronze-winning women’s hockey team. That was the biggest one-day medal haul since the 64 given out on Feb. 12, when team figure skating awards were made.

Sagittarius and Aries each scooped up 10 medals yesterday. The archer captured five medals in team pursuit speed skating and three more in women’s hockey. The ram earned five in hockey, three in team pursuit.

Gemini, with six goals earned, remained at the top of the standing in medal count, one ahead of Sagittarius (which moved up from fourth on Tuesday) and Cancer. But the crab clawed its way to the top of the medal-weighted ranking with 81 points. Cancer hauled in nine gold and six silver.

Aquarius actually brought more in medal-weighted points, 17 to Cancer’s 16, including six gold, six silver and five bronze.

Left on their own, the Pisces men would be right in the thick of, leading points and tied on weighted scoring. But the fish women rank 10th in points and next to last on weighted scoring.

Gemini Spurts to the Top


Team Gemini rode a strong showing at the PyeongChang winter games on Feb. 16, climbing to the top spot in the exclusive ZodiOlympics ranking.

Gemini collected five medals – two gold, a silver and two bronze – that brought its cumulative total to 23. On a weighted basis, Gemini leads the league table with 48 points, five ahead of Aquarius, which also ranked second on medal count.

Aires had been at the top of the ranking for several days but seems to be losing its mojo. The sign of the ram won zilch in the most recent day of competition, perhaps reflecting its moodiness and short-tempered nature. Its big haul came back on Feb. 12, when Aires raked in a dozen medals thanks largely to a strong showing in team figure skating, where dozens of awards were given.

Aquarius and Virgo have done well the past few days. Although the shy virgins are still on the outside looking in with 16 points, they ranked fifth on a weighted basis.

Congrats to Aquarius gold-winners Mattias Mayer (Men’s Super-G) and Sungbin Yun (men’s luge skeleton).



ZodiOlympics has its own website

Check out daily updates on which astrological signs are scoring bigly at the PyeongChang winter games.

Here’s the Feb. 14 update:

Valentine’s Day was special for Team Gemini, which scooped up 11 of the 30 medals awarded at the PyeongChang Winter Games.

The big haul lifted Gemini into second place in the cumulative standings based on the birth month of Olympic medal winners.

Thought of as gentle, curious and uncomfortable being alone, the Gemini appropriately picked up six of their 11 Valentine’s Day medals in luge doubles. Social commentators can draw their only conclusions about the fact that it was luge doubles for men. Do they have mixed luge doubles?

Well, they should.

As further proof of the scientific validity of the ZodiOlympic thesis, the co-winners of the men’s luge double are both named Tobias, though Mr. Wendl (right) is 14 days younger than Mr. Arlt (left). But who has the better beard?



ZodiOlympics Day 2 Update: Pisces Breaks Through

The sign of two fishes scored its first ZodiOlympic wins with two golds and a silver in the second day of competition.

Biathaloner Amd Peiffer and X-countryman Simen Krueger won gold for the Pisces, which tied with Leo for the top score in weighted points for the day.

Their heroic victories put the Pisces — also the sign of the ZodiOlympics founder and chief statistician — in a three-way tie for fith place on a cumulative basis.

Cancer and Aires are tied for first with five total medals after two days.

On a metallurgically-weighted basis, Cancer (11) and Leo (10) are at the top of the heap.

The ZodiOlympics tracks medal wins based on the birthday of the olympians. It’s provided as a free service by the Glimpse Foundation.

Results from first day of the ZodiOlympics

The Aries have sprinted out to the early lead, collecting four medals on the first day of the ZodiOlympics.

That’s one more than Sagittarius and Cancer.  Five other signs have picked up one each, while four signs are still shooting blanks.

On a medal weighted basis, Cancer has seven points, with a gold in women’s cross-country sking and two men’s silvers in speed skating and ski-jumping. The weights are three points for gold, two for silver, one for bronze.

The ZodiOlympics is a free service from The Glimpse that strips the quadrennial pageant of nationalism to group the achievements of the athletes according to the more godly and scientific categories of astrological signs.

Missing the Moby Dick Marathon

The New Bedford Whaling Museum sponsors a great Moby-Dick read-a-thon in early January every year. I went in 2017 for the first time. Took an overnight Amtrak from Washington, DC, to Providence, RI. Hiked around the city in the wee hours looking for Little Free Libraries where I could leave copies of AutoFlick. [This was my Johnny Appleseed guerilla marketing campaign.]

When I got to the Peter Pan bus depot, they were cancelling busses left and right because a heavy snow storm was bearing down on the area. My bus to New Bedford was the last one out. I honestly wondered how I was going to get back. There were only four of us on the bus. Including the driver.

It started snowing on the ride there and was accumulating pretty good when we got to New Bedford. A blizzard, really. Went to the museum, a marvelous place. The reading started at noon in the huge hall where they have a replica 19th century whaling ship. Some distant relative of Melville starts the thing off.

Across the street in the driving snow to the seaman’s chapel, site of a chapter in Moby-Dick and a place Melville went to church. Back to the museum. Reading along in my heavily annotated copy of Moby, the one made famous by Rockwell Kent images. Lunch in a little Portuguese café. Snow up over the ankles. The read-a-thon plowing on.

As the sun sets, I’m losing speed … hadn’t gotten much sleep on the train. All the restaurants in town are closed. Went to my motel and ordered Chinese take-out. I had to buy stuff I didn’t want just to meet the $10 takeout minimum. Snow getting close to knee level, and the wind blowing hard. I listened to the readathon on my iPad; it’s webcast, although the streaming continuity is a little spurty.

The takeout wasn’t very good. I hung in there on the webcast until midnight but finally drifted away.

Nice complementary breakfast in the motel and then back to the museum for the last five hours of reading. The hardcore are in sleeping bags on the floor. The harbor is covered in snow. An exciting rush through the final chapters. The crowd grows steadily as the morning rolls along.  In the end, the Pequod sinks, as it always does. A hurried walk back to the bus station, where the first bus running after the blizzard takes me back to Providence and then Amtrak home.

I signed up as a reader for this year’s read-a-thon and then had second thoughts about the long train and bus rides and backed out. At the last minute, the area got whacked again by a snowstorm — this one came a day earlier (Friday) and kept many people from getting there. In 2017, most of the people were already in New Bedford when the storm hit.

I listened to this year’s reading on the webcast, kicking myself for not going.