ZodiOlympics has its own website

Check out daily updates on which astrological signs are scoring bigly at the PyeongChang winter games.


Here’s the Feb. 14 update:

Valentine’s Day was special for Team Gemini, which scooped up 11 of the 30 medals awarded at the PyeongChang Winter Games.

The big haul lifted Gemini into second place in the cumulative standings based on the birth month of Olympic medal winners.

Thought of as gentle, curious and uncomfortable being alone, the Gemini appropriately picked up six of their 11 Valentine’s Day medals in luge doubles. Social commentators can draw their only conclusions about the fact that it was luge doubles for men. Do they have mixed luge doubles?

Well, they should.

As further proof of the scientific validity of the ZodiOlympic thesis, the co-winners of the men’s luge double are both named Tobias, though Mr. Wendl (right) is 14 days younger than Mr. Arlt (left). But who has the better beard?



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