Has Cancer Nailed Down the Gold?

Feb. 24. Cancer had another monster day at the PyeongChang games, picking up 10 medals and moving closer to winning the inaugural ZodiOlympics competition. Hats off to the crab.

Cancer won 10 medals today, tops in the field, including seven bronze – three on the alpine ski event, two in men’s hockey and solo in curling – along with a gold in mass-start speed skating and silvers in curling and snowboard big air. All that winning increased Cancer’s lead in medal count from just two on Friday to a perhaps unstoppable five-point lead with just one day left in the games.

The crab holds a hefty 16-point lead in weighted medals.

Gemini is hanging around in second, and it actually had a decent day on Saturday, with seven total medals. Both Cancer and Gemini have very strong women’s teams, but the twins-men are nothing special, while the crab-boys are best of class with 30 medals. Pisces are still in the hunt for the top men’s team, thanks to gold medals from Lee Seung-Hoon and Matt Hamilton. Sagittarius and Aries have decent shots at the top women’s team.

Aries had good day on Saturday, picking up nine medals and moving from fifth place overall to fourth. And Libra did itself some good by climbing into a tie with Capricorn for 11th place despite having an anemic woman’s team.

There are still a lot of medals at stake on Sunday, the final day of the PyeongChang games, including the top two men’s hockey teams. Cancer has turned up some big days so far, but it’s also been subpar on others.

“I have absolute confidence in the crab,” said July 4 birthday celebrant Roger Myerberg. “Above all else, we will crush the life out of those pathetic fish in our mighty pincers.”

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